Conversation with the little one

At an international school about 40 years ago, following conversations was held.

 

“Anna, you were a leader at discussion during a summer school, weren’t you? How can you be so ambitions?”

 

“What, me? A leader at discussion?”

 

“Yes, I heard that you acted at a leader, and you made people laugh"

 

“Ah, I see. At summer school. But I don’t think I was a leader, Although I may have looked a leader, I was not aware of it”

 

“But I heard that you acted as a leader”

 

“Well, I think I was acting as moderator, not as a leader. I was not sure if I can catch up with the discussion, so I took notes and asked a few questions and get the opinions from the talkers together, and made sure no one was left behind”

 

“How did you make people laugh?”

 

“Well, I said something that boys might find it funny”

 

“How did it go?”

 

“Well… some of them were not talking, so I asked if they have anything they would like to add to the discussion, and found that one of them could not understand what “subjective” and “objective”, which we were talking during the discussion. We tried to help him understand the word, and I gave little example, which included a joke”

 

“What was the joke about”

 

“An insight into the feeling of jealousy man”

 

“Which is?”

 

“Well, for subjective, I raised an example of a girl with blond hair, white t-shirts and pink shoes. For objective, the example was that the girl was his ex-girlfriend. Then the boy went “She is my ex-girlfriend. She is not mine anymore. Let her make some mistakes”

 

M burst.

 

“I see men laugh at an exactly the same keyword” All the boys laughed for exactly the same keyword”

 

“Do you know the implication?”

 

“Uh-ha”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Wel, there are loads of mistakes that the girl can make, and the worst scenario would be to bonk him and left with a child or two in the berry”

 

“Not so much…”

 

“Men don’t really think about the consequence, do they?”

 

“Because?”

 

“They are not the one who conceive. The rest is up to women’s decision”

 

“Why is that?”

 

“Well, it’s up to women to decide to abort, or keep the bun in the oven”

 

“Why?

 

“Because if the guy bonked and leave her, he is not up to a good husband nor good father.

It’s best to find a true love after the kid is out into the world”

 

“I see. Who did you say to that?”

 

“There were two British boys, one Japanese boy and probably Mexican or some Spanish speaking boy”

 

 

After one hour.  A Japanese boy said; 

 

“Anna chan, did you say a dirty joke?”

 

“WHAT ??”

I looked to M, and said. 

“Did you tell him that it was a dirty joke?”

No answer

 

“Now he is your sole responsibility. You explain to him the implication”

 

“Daddy and mummy trying to escape from their responsibility?”

Mr. L, an English teacher, teased.

“Well, it’s him who started off. He should be responsible for it. I’ll go”

 

This was a mistake. I should never have left them alone.

 

After 10 minutes

 

“Anna chan, he said something weird. Sex or something”

 

“WHAT ??”

 

I turned back to M and siad

 

“M. Did you tell him the sexual implication of the joke?”

 

A nod.

 

“Why did you do that? I think these types of implications should be learned spontaneously.

But Y did not ask for it, did he?”

 

A nod.

 

“Look, Y is may be 12, 13 or 14 years old. Do you think he is old enough for that? I don’t think so. And he shouldn’t be taught in a way such as “Hey, you get over here. You heard a dirty joke. Do you know what that mean? It is so and so””

 

And if it comes from a mature student like you, Y said it was strange, but it may be threatening, may be scary”

 

“Yes, I know. I had the same experience”

 

“Oh God… I’m sorry”

 

“Don’t be”

 

“So can you imagine what Y has felt like?

 

A nod.

 

“Do you think, you can apologize him?”

A nod

 

“Y, M wants to apologize you, Would you hear him out?”

 

A nod

 

“M”

 

He trod to Y, and made a long apology

 

Y said “That’s OK”

 

Once Y’s gone, I said “Well done”. M disappeared off into library.

 

From the staircase, Mr L said “Well done”

 

“OMG. Were you listening to this all ?”

 

He nodded and say

 

“You cut the carma”

 

“You mean those good things comes around, and bad things come around?”

 

He nodded.

 

“Well, I hope it stops at Y, and hope he won’t do it to anyone else”

 

After that, I grabbed M, and said, “you cut karma. Good thing comes around and bad thing goes around. You have cut this carman y you self. Well done

 

M didn’t reply.

 

I seriously prayed that Y would not make similar thing.

 

Next day, Y’s big sister came up and asked what happened. I apologised her that it was me who started the joke with implication of dirty joke.

I hope she got the meaning all right.

 

Then after 25 years later, I heard that Y has passed away. He must have been in his late 20’s or beginning of 30’s.

 

When I recall, his lovely broad smile is still in my head.

 

I hope that this incident will not give too much impact on him and forget about it soon.

 

Good one die young. So was Y.

 

When look back, I was scared that M wouldn’t say that he “dosen’t understand what I was talking about” and carry on with his opinion of talking to underage with conversations including sexual implication.

 

But hi didn’t.

 

It was stopped possibly because of his personal experience, or my blunt intrusion, which I don’t know until this day.

 

But M cut bad cycle. And many waters passed since Y’s death. 

All I can hope is that Y was not bothered with this little conversation, and do exactly what he has sone when he was at early teen.