Personal Growth

 

About 40 years ago in Japan, School teachers were considered as highly respectable people, with high moral, someone to be admired. Children were expected to comply to teacher’s instruction, and had almost no doubt that they will not be misled by teachers.

 

Probably clever children might have come up with a different opinion, that teachers are human being after all, and they do make mistake and they do have moral problem.

 

As an average Japanese child grew up in 70’s and 80’s, I vaguely thought that school teachers are trustworthy.

 

Then came an encounter with an American teacher, who has changed my point of view.

 

I was at an international school in London, and on a first day of English literature class for EFL students, I was harassed by the American teacher and thrown out of the class room because my handwriting in English was not satisfactory.

 

The teacher also threw out another Japanese student, who previously attended the EFL literature class a year before, because she was a Japanese.

 

I raised complaint that this Japanese student should be placed back where she belong, but the American teacher brushed it aside, and rejected myself and other Japanese student to be accepted into the literature class.

 

Later on, I was given a chance to go back to EFL literature class by taking English proficiency test. After that, this American teacher, with a smirk, admitted that she dose not want any coloured students in her class.

 

The shock was immeasurably large to my naive self. I was too angry to be with the teacher, and said that her hair is much darker than mine, and storm out of the school building.

 

My friend was somehow with me and tried to make me calm down. Being concerned that he might skip his class, I told him that I was alright, and asked him to go back to class.

 

Once being on my own, I walked to a bookshop nearby the school, and bought a novel – very thin one called “Bonjour Tristesse” by Françoise Sagan, in English translation.

 

I sneaked into a café, and read this book. As I have read this book many years ago in Japanese, the story as familiar, and I could follow the story. This gave me a confidence and I returned to school for the afternoon class.

 

The American teacher continued to harass me as “a stupid Japanese who can’t study in English”, which was quite annoying. She had very thick American accent, which prevented me to understand, as I was living in English-English environment, and her class was the only occasion when I come across with thick American accent.

 

I asked her if I cold record the lecture, but she refused immediately.

But other British teachers persuaded her to let me record the lecture, thus I get permission for that.

 

After graduation, I started University in Japan. I had somewhat sceptical to lectures done by American teachers – some insisted that they don’t accept nothing but American accent. Back then, English-English, or British English, as not popular in Japan at all, some American teachers were egging students to learn nothing but American English.

 

With all these experience with teachers, and peer pressure to learn American English (About 95 per cent of my class mates studied American Accent during their secondary and high schools in Japan), I gave up learning American English as it was so traumatising, as it was such a difficult accent to speak.

 

Many years – about 30 years – passed, and I had a chance to meet my class mate from the international school in London.

 

He updated me with who is doing what now, with all the gossips among friends and teachers while looking at Year book. Then he pointed out the American English teacher, and said;

“She was sacked because she stole money from the school”.

 

This was a turning point. Because her presence was large in my heart, I decided to forget about the school, and did not recall it until I meet this old class mate.

Then, having heard that she has done unforgivable theft, I was utterly astonished that a teacher, who I thought has high moral standard, could commit a crime.

 

With her behaviour has changed my opinion of the school, and gave me a space to ponder about the memory of 1 year I stayed there.

 

Having not looked back on the school days, my friend’s update helped me to see the school in different angle – kind class mates and teachers, so much fun we had together, although my English was not good enough to grasp everything that has been said around me.

 

I could forget bad memory, particularly when the shock and disgust against the subject was so overwhelming. At the same time, I realised that how much I have neglected the good memory which I should have treasured.

 

Personal growth comes along unexpectedly, no matter where or how old you are.

Without my friend’s help, I might still have had bad impression to the school day.

I feel grateful that my friend came all the way from England – It freed me from the past bad memories.